13,000. Unlucky for some. Indeed, that is true. Although, I think I may be delusional, I don't get the grades for medicine, I don't get the grades for my back up, I don't get the grades to be at the top of a clearing waiting list. However, when offered a place from a university, as dowdy as it may be, I decline. I clearly have some kind of complex about being more deserving and able than I am.
I am not surprised I didn't get in anywhere with my awful attitude. I am surprised however, that I did not go with my gut instinct last year, bad me. Note to self - competing is only fun when you're not doing it with yourself. Because if you lose to you, then you're just a loser, as you have not taken the time to consider who you may have beaten. Unless you consider losing with yourself winning because you were only competing with yourself so somehow one of you (being yourself) had to win. Wait, who said that?
At least if you compete with other people there will always be those who have not done as well as you. The joys of schadenfreude. Oh how sadistic I have become.
I'm now going to apply for history, as it was the only subject that on paper I was ever any good at, I knew his before I applied for Medicine, however the idea of an instant career was appealing.
My mother said earlier today that I was a 'Victim of not playing to my strengths,' despite the encouragement that was no doubt meant to consume me from those immortal words, I, now no longer the optimistic realist but a sadistic pessimist took it as the confirmation that not only had I failed to get into university, I had manage to victimise myself, in a situation, that involves no one else, but myself.
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