Everything happens for a reason ???? PLEAASSEE

I have surpassed myself, I've managed to embarrass myself more than I ever have before, considering my list of previous embarrassments is practically infinite, I think I deserve some kind of consolation medal.

Jargon

I don't always resort to moral relativism to make myself feel better, I blame my bad deeds on dualism instead, then reassure myself with all my good deeds and subsequent karma.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly

I didn't swallow a fly although once one flew up my nose, this is actually about how I ran over a bird today. There was new driver who ran over a bird, that was me today, it's okay though I'm taking a utilitarian approach to it. Rather the bird than the human.

Africa

I heard about this guy who got deported from Mozambique for running around with a spirit stick and dancing. I also heard about this guy who's allegedly written the majority of all good books ever written. What a legend...

They're not wrong, reflective surfaces are reflective for a reason.

Fuming

There's a photo of me looking at a fume cupboard, people blatantly just think i'm checking out my reflection, they're wrong...?

I found out today that someone I used to know has achieved what they always wanted to, against the odds, I can't think of anyone more deserving. Everything can pay off in the end.

Remember Me

So many things happen in life but we choose what we want to specifically remember, I wonder if I would be any different if I’d chosen to remember different things. To me it seems the only point of memory, other than to remember certain people, is to try and ensure you don’t make the same mistake twice. If i’d remembered different things I might have made different mistakes more often but not have made the same big mistakes just once. I don’t think either’s grass is much greener than the other’s.

Suave?

I thought my fountain pen was really suave until I stabbed myself in the arm with it. I'm not a very suave person in general, and sharp objects do nothing for my cause.

An I for an I

I'm not liking all these 'I's

Charity

The profits from the auction of the fascinator are going to charity. In my esteemed opinion.... I think that in this case whoever buys it should just have given £75000 to charity and have had the hat thrown in for free. After all, who needs a reason or an incentive to give money to charity?

Most people.

Phillip Treacy

Princess Beatrice's royal weddings fascinator has reached over £75,000 on ebay. !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Dark Materials

Apparently the existence of dark energy has been confirmed.

Dark energy; 'The action of dark energy is as if you threw a ball up in the air, and it kept speeding upward into the sky faster and faster.'

So basically it's rubbish for racket sports, however, good news for Einstein who's theories are still ticking boxes. I think dark energy sounds really evil, I'm not sure I like name. But, I do keep repeating it, so either I have an ashamedly poor vocabulary, know nothing about physics (definitely true) or am actually quite fond of the it's title.

Annoying Questions

1) Why is that on your ipod?

2) Why are you watching that?

These questions are ridiculous, everyone does and those who don't SHOULD know that music, television, films and art are subjective. Therefore, by asking these condescending questions you are in fact just asking yourself a rhetorical question and making an unnecessary contribution to the decibel level of your surroundings. You know the answer. The answer is 'because i like them' or 'because it's to my taste' or maybe even 'because i WANT to'.

Afterthought; there's nothing worse than Artistic snobbery. Escapism is OKAY.

The only shore is made in...

The Only Way is Essex

Made in Chelsea

Jersey Shore

The Hills

All very amusing and ridiculously watchable. What seems to distinguish them is the fact that they're about different social circles; there are some nice people, some not so nice, some more normal people, some more wacky. Just goes to show (get it?), that whoever you mix with and whichever conceived 'class' they come from there will be some people you like, and others who you don't take to quite as much...

In summary; every group of people, where ever you find them, will have just the same kind of composition. But you probably knew that already ;)

Inhibitions

Earlier today I went to my weekly zumba class and kept zoning out. Got me to to thinking, is 'zoning out' the same as losing your inhibitions and forgetting your surroundings? Because that's supposed to be empowering, when I zone out in zumba I stop concentrating on the woman directing the class and start turning the wrong way whilst limply moving my limbs. Maybe losing your inhibitions doesn't apply to things that involve you being lead. Or exercise classes.

Entropy

I should probably point out that I know very little about the following things; entropy, philosophy and the department of education.

Entropy? ( see post below).

'Champagne Socialism'

Every Cloud has a silver lining.

Sickle Cell Anaemia sufferers have a selective advantage in regions where Malaria is widespread, this being that they are resistant to it. It struck me that even when things that happen to you feel like the worst case scenario there's probably a reason why they happened in the first place. Admittedly this isn't much of a comfort at the time, but I like to think it would inspire me to keep going until I figure out the reason why something happened. The fact of the matter is, pessimism pays off instantly, you feel angry, fed up and come to the conclusion that the world is conspiring against you and things are never going to get better. Optimism on the other hand, is a lot more hard work but when something does happen that doesn't make you feel like you're the butt of a global joke taking vicarious pleasure in your misfortunes (deep breath), you haven't wasted time feeling sorry for yourself.

There's nothing wrong with feeling rubbish when something bad happens, it's probably more healthy to feel your feelings so to speak then just to bury them and move on. My point is, when something s*** happens it doesn't mean that things will always be s***, and when you look back on it won't seem nearly as s*** as it did at the time (this applies to more trivial things, even as an eternal optimist I don't think I could really look back on something like death in a positive light, that's just really s***).

I'm not saying that Sickle Cell Anaemia sufferers are in any way compensated by this resistance to malaria, but maybe we can take something from the silver lining that's allowed generations of people to survive. I watched American Beauty the other day, I think that's what's brought this on, after all even if you wish you were dead, you're probably lucky to be alive in the first place. There's a reason why you're descended from that one sperm that made it to the egg. Maybe there were trillions of potential souls that didn't get the chance to find a body! Everything happens for a reason, otherwise why would anything 'bother' happening at all? I'm not really religious, but I do struggle with the idea that there is no greater reason for the existence of the Human race. Maybe I just have a complex about being needed...