Everything happens for a reason ???? PLEAASSEE

I have surpassed myself, I've managed to embarrass myself more than I ever have before, considering my list of previous embarrassments is practically infinite, I think I deserve some kind of consolation medal.

Jargon

I don't always resort to moral relativism to make myself feel better, I blame my bad deeds on dualism instead, then reassure myself with all my good deeds and subsequent karma.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly

I didn't swallow a fly although once one flew up my nose, this is actually about how I ran over a bird today. There was new driver who ran over a bird, that was me today, it's okay though I'm taking a utilitarian approach to it. Rather the bird than the human.

Africa

I heard about this guy who got deported from Mozambique for running around with a spirit stick and dancing. I also heard about this guy who's allegedly written the majority of all good books ever written. What a legend...

They're not wrong, reflective surfaces are reflective for a reason.

Fuming

There's a photo of me looking at a fume cupboard, people blatantly just think i'm checking out my reflection, they're wrong...?

I found out today that someone I used to know has achieved what they always wanted to, against the odds, I can't think of anyone more deserving. Everything can pay off in the end.